Low Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

Self-esteem is a subjective sense of how much we value ourselves and our beliefs. It is linked with self-confidence because when we have good self-esteem, we tend to feel more confident.

The flip side of this is low self-esteem, which is when you have low self-worth and a low opinion of yourself. It is more than just being self-critical and encompasses factors of not feeling good enough.

Having good self-esteem is important so you have the confidence to achieve the things you want in life.

What is Low Self-Esteem?

Low self-esteem and self-confidence are often the result of speaking to yourself negatively. Most people can talk to themselves negatively sometimes but when there is a constant barrage of telling yourself you are not good enough, stupid, or useless, then you might have a problem with low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem can impact your day-to-day functioning as you may want to hide yourself away or not go to social events. In the short term, this works to get rid of the feeling, but the long-term consequence is that life becomes more limited and less fulfilling. People with low self-esteem can often struggle to stand up for themselves.

If left untreated this can cause problems like anxiety, depression and anger.

Causes of Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem can stem from a variety of factors including early life experiences such as:

Early life experiences

When people have difficult early life experiences, like being put down by a parent or being bullied, they can start to internalise this abuse and start to believe it is true, even when it is not.

Present factors

These factors relate more to your current situation which is causing low self-esteem. Often this can be due to having low levels of resilience or unhelpful coping strategies which might cause you to blame yourself and personalise things that have happened to you.

Low Self-Esteem Symptoms

While low self-esteem is not a mental health problem in itself, it can lead to mental health difficulties like anxiety and low mood. Common symptoms of self-esteem are:

Comparing yourself negatively to others: This can be comparing yourself to friends or family, or even comparing yourself negatively to people in the media. As you focus on your flaws this can affect the way you feel about yourself.
Lack of confidence: Low self-esteem and low self-confidence often go hand in hand.
External locus of control: This is when you believe that the things that can change a situation are out of your personal control. This can mean you feel powerless in situations and stuck.
Worry and self-doubt: When someone has low self-esteem they tend to worry and doubt their own opinions. They often believe that others would have better or superior ideas.
Negative self-talk: This is when the narrative in your head is full of self-loathing and hatred. Rather than being a supportive voice, it tends to be blaming and criticising.
People pleasers: People with low self-esteem tend to feel like they have to please others in order to be liked. This can mean they end up having a lack of boundaries.
Difficulty accepting compliments: Often when someone has low self-esteem they struggle to accept compliments because they don’t believe them to be true.

Therapy for low self-esteem

Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)

CFT helps people who have low self-esteem to develop a more compassionate mindset. This is done by using a set of techniques which helps them to learn a different way of thinking, feeling, and behaving towards themselves which is driven by compassion. It can also work with blocks to self-compassion

Compassion Focused Therapy

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy uses a set of techniques to help reframe thoughts, so they have less of an impact on mood and improvements in self-esteem.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

Treating low self-esteem at Turning Tides

At Turning Tides, our team of Psychologists are highly trained and have many years of experience working with common mental health conditions and people who struggle with low self-esteem. Our therapists are all fully qualified in using a range of different approaches to ensure your sessions meet your individual needs. The aim of counselling for low self-esteem is to provide you with the tools you need to be able to feel more self-confident.

We offer regular face-to-face appointments at our modern and comfortable clinic in Hoult’s Yard, Newcastle or we can offer online therapy via Zoom if you live further afield or have a preference for online sessions.

Our Fees

We have tried to keep our pricing as simple as possible. We charge £120 for a 60-minute appointment, regardless of whether this is an assessment or therapy session. Our fees are the same for face-to-face appointments and online appointments as you will receive the same high standard of care from our psychologists, regardless of how it is delivered.

Get in touch today

A psychologist will then be in touch to arrange a free 15-minute no-obligation call, where we can discuss your requirements in more detail and you can get a feel for whether Turning Tides is the right psychology practice for you.

If we’re not right for you, we’ll try and signpost you to somewhere that is.

Please note – Turning Tides is not a crisis service, and if you feel you need urgent support or are experiencing a mental health crisis then it is important that you contact your GP if they are available, or attend A&E.